i will start off by saying, i really hope you get your daddy’s genes when it comes to time management. here i am with just 53 minutes left in the day and i am determined to put out your birthday letter. it’s not that i procrastinate purposefully, but i am easily distracted. so, if this seems a bit all over the place, know that my bedtime should have really been an hour ago.
have you noticed I’ve been a bit cranky the past few days? i thought i just had too much to do and it was making me turn into mean mommy. but a little while ago, i realized what was wrong. all day long, i could not let go of my oldest baby turning six. each year that a child grows older, i imagine parents say, “i can’t believe they are _ years old. they are getting so old! where does the time go?” and i admit, when you turned one, i didn’t think it was even humanly possible that you could be a full 365 days old. but today, feels really different.
i’ve been watching you a lot lately – seeing how the way you talk and interact with people is light years different then one year ago. you are asking questions – really good questions and some i don’t know the answers to. your empathy of others is beginning to show through – like the way you share and love on your brother, especially when he is in time out. you bring him his puppies when he’s sad and even offer to give him the blue bowl in the morning so that he won’t be upset.
tonight when we got in the car and your shoe fell off, i stopped for a moment, held that foot that was bigger then my hand and leaned over to kiss your toes. you squealed saying “mom, don’t kiss my feet”, and even though you were smiling, i know my days for treating you like my little baby are slipping through my fingertips.
as you soaked up every minute of your birthday, from the moment your classmates sang to you as you walked in the door, to your special birthday dinner at king burger with your friend andrew - my heart felt full. i decided tonight, that even though i am sad about you loosing your dependence for me, i am excited and ready for all the fun about to come our way.
in the past year you’ve become mesmerized with outer space, gained the courage to take ice skating lessons, started kindergarten and build legos like it is your mission. i love how we have our talks together at night, those quiet moments right before you fall asleep and you tell me what’s on your mind. i love when you get quiet and say, “mama, it makes me frustrated when you do (insert many of the things you don’t like)”… you are growing, learning and becoming this amazing little man who far surpassed my wildest dreams.
baby gavin, even though you were the one that made me a mama, i’m ready to let go of those baby years. i will tuck those memories in a safe place to visit once in a while. but now, i am ready to join you, in all your excitement and energy of being six – to take on the world, one angry bird at a time.
i love you to jupiter and back,
p.s. these pictures make me smile. for starters, you NEVER let me take your picture. and the other reason? the day daddy picked me up to find out if you were a girl or boy, he brought me the most beautiful sunflowers – for our “son”. that dad of your’s, well, he usually knows what’s up.